A new year

Back in Trondheim tonight, and it’s become a new year since I was last here.

Let me just say: Christmas was wonderful. And like the summer holiday, I really didn’t want it to end. The days just swept by so fast, and I did nothing else than enjoy the fact that I could spend my days doing knitting, reading and sitting by the fireplace, listening to Christmas carols, seeing friends, eat good food, and all of this without feeling guilty about being ineffective. I almost didn’t touch a computer all holiday long, making my blog quite quiet, but it was good not having to search the internet every day, answering mails and reading articles, like I usually do. Good to just have a little escape from everything.

Now I’m back in my apartment, arrived with the train at 21 hundred tonight, and although I had steeled myself for it, it never stops amazing me how long time it takes to warm my bone-deep-cold apartment to a luke-warm one. My teeth are chattering, but I will soon go to bed, and I have put two blankets over my quilt, and filled up my bedpan, in hope of not turning to an icicle. I was going to say that my room was exactly like I left it, only it wasn’t. My bed was neatly made, my things were stacked in order, and all of the clothes that hang to dry were folded in piles. I could only start to wonder if the elves hadn’t been to visit, but I figured that my heaven-sent doer of good deeds, my room mate Berit, had done it all before leaving Trondheim for Christmas. It made it much more agreeable to come home, I say.

I celebrated new year’s in Oslo, with my siblings. We took the train from Bergen that morning, and ate pinnekjøtt at Stian’s atelier with some of Reidun and Stian’s friends. It was nice in Oslo, though freezing cold, and about minus fifteen I think. It doesn’t look like it’s getting any better up here though, with a gloomy forecast saying it will be about minus twenty during the week. I’m so tired of freezing that I can only dream of an early arriving of spring.

Trondheim otherwise is a good place to come home to. Even though it’s small compared to Bergen, and miniscule compared to Oslo, it provides well and has everything one can ask for. Still, I am now coming to terms with the thought that I start seeing an end of my stay here, and though I’ve said that I never have intended to live i nTrondheim for many years, I am soon getting the feeling that I will not be here more than another winter.

It’s strange, that… Having thought unconciously for quite some time, that living in Trondheim was just a staged life, or a pause from my real life with my real, significant people that I knew from Bergen, I somehow always pictured that I would return to a state of old life after these years of “vacation”. Now I’m understanding that these years haven’t been something else, but my real life entirely, and my real self, only in a different place and away from the ones I knew. The years in Trondheim have been just as important and significant for my life and the shaping of me than any other. And when it’s time for me to leave here, my life will still be as real, only starting again someplace else.

I think those thoughts originally came from me being parted with Cat and Is, and surely, any life not ivolving them couldn’t be as real. But it seems that I must come to terms with the fact that life still goes on even though I don’t see them or hear from them as much as I used, or would like, to. And, in the meantime, while I wait for us all to stand still at the same place at the same time in life once again, I will lead my life to the fullest, and hope that I will somehow gain some wisdom and new memories to look back on from it all.

I have of course a lot of pictures and a lot of things to tell from Christmas, but it will have to wait at least for tomorrow. For now, it’s enough to say – Happy new year, and may it be a good one. I’m sure it will be the best one – so far – for me, even though I’m not sure why.

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