New years: Crossroads

These days’ theme:

Adrian Lux – Teenage Crime – Radio Edit

It’s 2011. A lot of things are happening right now (or, not happening), after 3,5 years of blissful routine and steadiness in Trondheim. So, this new year calls for some straightening up in my own thinking, and it’s time to write these concerns down in order to do that.

First a short recap of november and december 2010:
I finished my bachelor in sociology and psychology with a bam, and wrote a bachelor thesis about check-up-culture that both myself and my teachers were satisfied with. I also met my dream guy whilst finishing this thesis, and luckily for me, he liked me back. He’s now my wonderful boyfriend, and continues every day to be the best thing that has happened to me for a long time. I am, in that concern, very happy.

The plan for spring 2011 was fairly simple: work, earn money, and go for a travel. Then move to Oslo to continue studies in the fall.

Well. Work hasn’t been giving me much to do lately, and I find myself working a lot less than I was originally hoping for. That puts me in a difficult situastion. I could either apply for a temporary second job in Trondheim, doing some easy, low-paid labour that doesn’t have anything to do with my education, so that I can still earn some money; OR I could try to find some more relevant work to do on a more permanent basis in Oslo. That would include moving all my things and my life to a new city many months before plan. A third option would be to apply the for the state’s study loan and take up more subjects to get an income. That option was very much not what I had in mind, since the point of this semester was to have a study-free break to do things I wanted to do before enrolling on a new study program. And I dislike the idea of getting into more loan just to take subjects to pass the time; subjects that may be won’t do anything for my carreer anyway.

So, it seems the best option is to move. The desicion mostly governed by concern over money, and I really, really hate worrying about money. But normally I embrace change, and I have been ready to move from Trondheim for a while now. It’s just that for the first time, I actually have somebody worth staying for, someone I have only just discovered, and who I want to spend every minute with. And now I have to move? It just doesn’t seem fair. I find myself having to grow up way faster than I wanted.

Well, I’ve spent the first week of 2011 being sick and vomiting, and doing nothing useful. The few shifts I have in january is far from enough to keep me occupied these days. I’m getting used to doing little, and at the same time I’m getting increasingly restless. And although I have plans to fill up my free time with all the things that I wanted to do during the last year, like reading books  I choose myself, knitting, drawing, playing music and being creative; all this new free time confuses me so that I don’t know what to begin with, and when I do something, I feel it’s a waste of time because it’s not “productive”. I mean, what do people do on their free time?

But it ends now, with this post. I will make a schedule, and do things. I will not waste this opportunity to do things I want to. And, hopefully, in a few weeks, I will know more about what will happen. Whether my work situation is improving, whether I get a positive response to the other jobs I’ve applied for, and whether I can plan the future months well enough to at least book a short trip somewhere, even though it won’t be the same two-months-long trip I envisaged during last fall (because, after losing so much income, I won’t be able to afford it any longer). Bah.

Things need to happen. Soon.

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